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Girl to her father:

- Yesterday at a party I was proposed to by two people at once: a doctor and a banker. anekdotov.net,

- Well, well. And now you have to choose: life or your wallet.

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If you want a big portion at a restaurant, say that you are looking for a wedding venue. And don't forget to take off your rings.

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To be honest, shopping is much better than psychotherapy. The price is the same, but you get a new bra.

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I found sketches of tattoos that I saved back in college. For the first time, I am glad that I had no money then.

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If you doubt the need for the letter Ё, then compare the two phrases. Everyone drank and everyone drank. Just two dots, and what a tragic plot twist.

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Don't piss me off! Or I'll give your phone number to the kids in kindergarten and say it's a direct line to Santa Claus!

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Daughter, tell me, what do you think the natives from the islands who live in the Stone Age look like?
Well... with a ring in their nose, dirty hair sticking out to the sides, all sorts of nonsense inserted into their ears, tattoos all over their bodies... And, dad, don't look at me so strangely
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The phrase: "They've come for you!", heard in kindergarten, and when you already work as a chief accountant, - is felt differently.

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As a child, I was very afraid of all sorts of monsters, ghosts and other evil spirits. But my mother said that all evil spirits can be sucked in with a vacuum cleaner, so I regularly and thoroughly vacuumed my room.

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Teacher:

Children, what will happen if an all-pervading core hits an impenetrable wall?
Vovochka:

Vodka will become more expensive! Teacher:
Why? Vovochka:
Dad always says that as soon as some nonsense happens, vodka immediately becomes more expensive.
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I bought a new dress, I ask my husband:

How do you like me? And he:
Well, I'm a little annoying, but otherwise nothing...
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You know, Olga Petrovna is such a holy woman.
Yes, she even made her husband a great martyr.
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Where did you get so many enemies?
I'm sociable.
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Dad, are dinosaurs tasty?
Ask your grandma.